MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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