I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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