Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
