So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
