Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
