is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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