dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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