I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
