I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
