Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
