sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we're so committed to being not committed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
