How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
