She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
