Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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