Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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