I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
