It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
