The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
