just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
