She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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