i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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