Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
