Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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