I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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