We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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