If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
