It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
