Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
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I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor