So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.