Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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