your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
