Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
