Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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