My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
