New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So many bounce houses so little time
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
