yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
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