i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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