Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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