I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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