i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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