I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They took my balls.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
