this boner is exhausting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
