You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
