finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
