Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
