In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
