I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
