Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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