That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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