the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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