I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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