It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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