i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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