At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
