she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Randomize
