Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
