Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
