if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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