is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
