i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
