Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
