"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
