Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
