When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
