Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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