i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
