Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
