I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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