she looked like the before picture.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
